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Personal performance coaching could change your life.

Updated: Mar 7, 2022


There is nothing like being in isolation, alone, with 2 kids to try and break your focus.

This new variant of coronavirus is such that my eldest daughter has minimal symptoms and is her usual bubbly and precocious self- meaning that every moment of the last 3 days has been spent trying to entertain, in an attempt to relieve the mum guilt of allowing far too much television.

As I type my 3 three old is pretending to be a shopping bag, having inserted herself into a leopard print tote, whilst screaming “daddy” out of the window and placing her smudgey fingerprints all over my newly cleaned glass.

I am grateful that before our first positive test, I had the pleasure of engaging with a new personal performance coach, which couldn’t have come at a better time, allowing a pragmatic focus for what could otherwise have been a very challenging week.

I am not new to the world of coaching. Something which I thought was geared toward the wealthy, is a service that you never knew you needed. Coaches give you the tools to confidently make your own decisions and unlock your potential.

I was introduced to coaching by a family friend and Personal Performance coach Thandi, Founder of Unrealised you. We spoke a lot about my new business and re-entry to the design industry. Because I knew her, I very openly talked about the realities of starting my business and to be honest, it went down like a lead balloon. She questioned why I was using such negative language. Such as “My business is still so new, I’m not earning a living yet” and “I’m really pleased with how things are going but it’s still early days”. I guess in my mind I wanted to remain humble. No one likes arrogance, do they? However, to Thandi, it came across us uncertain, with a lack of confidence in what I was doing. It shocked me.

I was put in contact with Claire Louli, of LevelUp coaching in September 2021 and she was able to articulate the contents of my brain and help me to make sense of it all.

Are you used to writing ‘to do’ lists? I have one as long as my arm, but this can sometimes be really overwhelming. I am aware of the need to set bite size goals and a small daily task list but switching to full time, self-employment has come with an element of desperation. This is where we started our sessions together. The term ‘desperation’ leads to stress, fear and ultimately failure because it is an all or nothing approach. Switching to words such as focus and determination, instantly replaces fear with strength, confidence and empowerment.

We also spoke about affirmations, which I have been using for myself and children for about 2 years but it is easy to get out of the habit of doing them regularly. Reminding myself that it is OK to go at my own pace; make mistakes (lessons) and experiment, gives permission to not look at what other people are doing around me. For years I would tell myself that I wasn’t a confident person. In truth, I was lying to myself and everyone else around me. I was a confident person; I had just shrunk myself for fear of what others may have thought of me. It’s taken several years and hard work to get to a place where I feel confident enough to step out and say, “I like myself and I am enough”. It is poignant as well as empowering and incredibly freeing. It is also an intention, which I am working on daily.

I have learned over time that we do not need to believe everything we think. Our own thoughts create emotions, which create our actions. Negative thoughts, create negative emotions, which create negative actions and/or responses in certain situations.

Choosing the word ‘Focus’ for 2022 seems quite apt. It wasn’t until I started writing this entry that I stumbled upon my notes and noticed that the same word was a recurring theme through our sessions. Instead of having a goal and trying to do everything simultaneously to reach it, start at the end and work backwards in order to discover what would make the most impact for today. This approach is intentional and makes the most of your time. It also helps to create positive thoughts, which are uplifting and result in? You guessed it- positive actions.

The power of the mind is incredible. Who would have thought that it would take a stranger to remind us that we are able to speak to ourselves in the same way we would talk to a friend? With gentleness and encouragement.

If you can afford a coach, I would recommend it emphatically. However, if not and you want to try some of the techniques, start by speaking kindly to yourself. It is a small step towards the biggest mind shift you will ever make, and it has the potential to change your life.

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